Posts by David McFadden

You want an officiant who is experienced in conducting wedding ceremonies and working with people of all types.

• Experienced With Weddings – The more experience an officiant has had, the more he will bring to the table in helping you to plan your unique wedding. There are a lot of “moving parts” to a wedding ceremony such as the venue, music, members of the wedding party, family situation, time available for the ceremony, etc. An experienced officiant will not be thrown off and stuck finding a solution in a unique or unexpected situation.
• Experienced With People – An experienced officiant will get a quick read on all of the people involved in a wedding. Wedding ceremonies can set up highly emotional situations in some instances. Various family members can have strong opinions regarding different aspects of a wedding ceremony. An experienced officiant will be able to bring calm direction to keep things on track and help the bride and groom receive the wedding ceremony they want.

You need an officiant who has a good and appropriate sense of humor.

• While a wedding ceremony is an important, sacred and intensely meaningful event, there is often a place for humor as well. In the midst of the seriousness of the occasion and the nervousness that is often felt, the right touch of humor at the right time can put everyone at ease and help to add to the memories of the day.
• Occasionally in a wedding ceremony, an event will take place that is completely unexpected and can throw people off guard if not handled appropriately.  A good sense of humor can usually soften the blow of the unexpected, make it a part of the ceremony, and allow everyone to move on appropriately.

You need an officiant with a wide breadth of knowledge about weddings and wedding ceremonies.

• People have been getting married for thousands of years. Various cultures have developed wedding traditions that add rich meaning and depth to wedding ceremonies. New ideas also emerge that not only add personal meaning to a wedding ceremony, but also help to make it unique for each couple.
• An officiant who is knowledgeable about standard traditions, as well as, current trends will help you to have a wedding ceremony that has your personal stamp on it.
• You also want someone who is knowledgeable about people and personality types in order to work well with various family members throughout the entire process.

As you plan your time for completing all the tasks on your list of wedding preparations, don’t forget the officiant who will lead you through the actual wedding ceremony. As soon as you know the date of your wedding, it is wise to line up an officiant. Professionals who are good at this job will have their time filled up quickly, so don’t delay in starting your search. Here are some things to consider as you think through what you want in your ceremony.

You want an officiant who relates well to people

• Personable With The Bride And Groom – You want a officiant you like and with whom you feel comfortable. This person is going to lead you in making sacred vows to one another and will be introducing you as a newly married couple. Choose someone with a warm and caring personality. –
•  Personable With The VIP Guests – You are likely to have a number of family members and friends involved in the wedding ceremony who are very important to you. You want an officiant you feel comfortable introducing to those people and who can carry on a conversation with them and make them feel at ease.

I have been conducting wedding ceremonies for about 40 years.  I seem to enjoy this process more and more as the years go by.  My wife and I have been married over 4 decades, have worked with thousands of couples as marriage counselors over the years and have grown closer as a couple throughout our marriage.

I want to be the best wedding officiant that I can be.  I have always put my heart and soul into this process.  My wife and I have been very fortunate to be as close as we have been throughout our marriage and to continue to enjoy every aspect of our marriage as we grow older together.

I want for every couple I am involved with to have a rich, rewarding and fulfilling marriage.  I want to help every couple have the best chance possible to be able to face the challenges that live present to them.  I want every couple I am involved with to have access to rich resources to help them beat all the odds and grow old together.

Through the years I have done thousands of hours of premarital counseling both formally and informally.  My goal now is to prepare an extensive list of resources for each couple to have and to provide additional training for marriage preparation for each couple.

For over 20 years I was a full-time Sr. Pastor in Michigan and Illinois and was called upon to perform many wedding ceremonies. I didn’t always like doing ceremonies at the church building because it meant moving the pulpit and communion furniture off of the stage/altar area and then moving it all back when the wedding was over. It also involved cleaning up rice and birdseed – back in the day. Midway through our careers my wife and I both went back to school and became Marriage Counselors. I still did a few weddings each year.

A friend who was a full-time wedding officiant contacted me almost 10 years ago to see if I could help with some weddings he was unable to do. I started helping him and after a couple of weddings came home and told my wife that I REALLY liked doing this work. Weddings are almost always a fun and joyous time in the life of a couple and their families.

It is a great time to be involved with people and I love it. I don’t have to do anything other than plan and execute a wedding ceremony. I get to use my creative abilities in the planning process. I have a lot of passion for marriage and that comes through in my presentation and I get lots of feedback from wedding attenders on how they lived the ceremony.

Here are a few things to think about as you plan your wedding ceremony.

1. How involved do we want to be in planning the ceremony?
2. Do we want a religious ceremony that mentions God or not?
3. What is our budget?
4. Are there things that we specifically want as a part of their ceremony?
5. Do we have any unique elements that they want included?
6. Will we write our own vows or use “repeat after me” vows led by the officiant?
7. Do we want family members or friends to do any readings?
8. Do we want recognition in some way of family members who have died?
9. Do we have pets that they want to have involved?
10. Do we want to have a unity celebration as part of their ceremony?

Going with the Flow in Rehearsal

• If you have a rehearsal for your wedding, be prepared for things to start later than you have planned. Rehearsals are notoriously chaotic events at first. People get lost, or are stuck in traffic or had to work later than they thought.
• An officiant who knows this will work with you, will help bring calm to the situation and will be able to bring order and direction when things are ready to begin.

Going with the Flow in the Wedding Ceremony

• Despite the hours of careful planning and even with a perfect rehearsal, things can still go differently than planned. If you are prepared for a minor glitch, a participant who is slightly off cue or some other unforeseen change, one of two things will happen.
  • First, a sharp officiant will be aware instantly if something is not going as originally planned and can weave it right into the wedding ceremony so that no one even notices.
  • Second, a sharp officiant will also be able to handle an obvious out of place event in a wedding ceremony, bring some humor to the situation and put everyone at ease, with the situation ending up being a funny memory that added to the day.