Posts by David McFadden
Debbie’s Latest Article
Debbie wrote and excellent article on becoming soulmates with your spouse(link is external). Hope you enjoy.
Great Customer Service For A Deserving Couple
I just had a wedding at Blumen Gardens in Sycamore, my second time to officiate a wedding there. This venue has a rustic indoor setting that is absolutely great and a wonderful outdoor wedding setting and they have huge garden areas scattered about.
The outdoor wedding today was scheduled to start at 6 and everything was set up early. There had not been rain in the forecast, BUT it was coming down steady for over an hour before the wedding. When I arrived the bride and groom, Candace and Doug, told me they were going to hold off making a call on moving inside until 6:15 when radar showed the rain leaving the area. Sure enough, at 6:15 it stopped and a few minutes later the Blumen Gardens staff went out and started drying off the chairs with a huge box of towels. Then they followed up with a leaf type blower on every chair. Within 15 – 20 minutes they had things dried and ready to go. Another 15 or so minutes later the guests were seated and we got started.
The staff at Blumen was excellent and went above and beyond the call of duty to help Candice and Doug have the type of wedding they had always dreamed of. We could have moved inside but everyone probably would have been standing throughout the ceremony – so outside was the better choice. I watched and listened to the staff as they repeatedly checked in with Candace regarding what to do. They did not try to pressure her to move the wedding inside so that everything would fit their time schedule. I have been in similar circumstances in other venues and there usually is not much patience to wait out the rain. (to be fair, other venues often plan more than one wedding a day AND they want to get their staff out of there on time at the end of the day)
The staff told Candice they could get the job done. They talked to the caterer and worked it out so that hors d’oeuvres could be brought out before the wedding and then announced to the guests that there was a delay and they would be served. This took care of the guests and they ate and drank and visited with each other. The staff fixed everything, covered all the bases and did a lot of extra work. There was no fuss about it! They were there to serve and did their level best so that Candice had the wedding she had dreamed of and planned for.
About 20 minutes after the wedding was originally supposed to start I spoke with Candice as she struggled with what to do. I told her, everyone is here to spend the evening at your wedding and reception. This is YOUR wedding and you should have the wedding you wanted if we can pull it off. Everyone will be fine if we start later, so I think it is worth the wait. She thanked me and said she liked my thinking.
This wedding was in the top ten of those I have officiated. These two really love each other and it was so evident in the ceremony. I always have two brand new handkerchiefs in my pocket in case the bride or groom needs one. Debbie buys them by the dozen for me. In this case I gave away two brand new handkerchiefs. The bride and groom each prepared vows to read to each other. The groom was even more emotional than the bride as he pledged his love. It was very moving and the guest broke out in applause after each of them finished their vows.
I commend Blumen Gardens for their patience, extra hard work, understanding, creativity, ability to go with the flow, problem solving thinking and desire to serve others to the best of their ability. Doug and Candace got what they paid for and it was delivered with a caring attitude and a smile. I am so glad for them.
I got away from the wedding at least an hour later than I had originally planned, but that was no problem. Debbie and I cooked supper together and ate after 8 PM. We had fun working on it together and I was able to put together 2 suppers for next week from the leftovers. We have a good marriage and that is probably a big part of why I am so passionate about marriage and helping people get theirs on the right track. This was a really good day to be alive and involved!
Oh . . . by the way . . . about 5 minutes after I left the venue and was on my way home a light rain started up again. By the time it hit the Blumen Gardens I am sure everyone was inside for the reception. Thanks God for holding it off just long enough!
Beautiful Family
Dan and Myia were married on May 4 in Sycamore at the Blumen Gardens which is a nursery and garden store and also has a wonderful gift shop. They also host weddings and have a beautiful courtyard for weddings as well as “the Garden” room which is a great setting for wedding and receptions. Dan and Myia are a fun loving couple and have a lot of fun and friendly family and friends. Their two yearold son was a great flower boy and also insisted on joining in the ceremony. Mom and dad handled it well and he was right there with us for the first half of the ceremony. Grandma stepped in and took care of him for the second half. These guys were great to work with and prepared both funny and very emotionally moving vows for each other. It was a privilege to be a part of their big day.
Latest Articles
Check out my latest(link is external) about finding happiness despite our differences and Debbie’s latest (link is external)article regarding healthy fighting. As always I hope you find them useful.
Toasty Buns
I was the officiant for the wedding ceremony of Grace and Mark on March 24th. The wedding took place at the Bristol on Damen in Chicago. We had the entire upper level and it’s a nice spot for a group of 30 to 40 people. The friends and family of the bride and groom were very fun loving and supportive group. I was positioned less than 2 feet in front of a fireplace that was burning. At one point I leaned over and told both the bride and groom that my ass was getting hot. That brought a smile to their faces and calmed down some of the nervousness that couples often experience during a wedding. This was a great couple to work with and I was glad to be a part of their wedding day!
Harleys, Pizza, and a Wedding
I officiated the wedding for Amy and Jordan on March 24th in Plainfield. The Venue is called Warehouse 109. One of one of the side walls has a dozen vintage Harley and Indian motorcycles on display. The wedding was originally planned to be outside but it was too cold of a March day and inside the warehouse worked out perfectly. A food Vender right outside the main door had a large wood oven and made wood fired pizza to order for the guests. The house was packed with very friendly family and friends.
Wedding and Birthday Fun
Fixing Relationships
Our latest article is up When Everything Turns Into a Fight(link is external). We included a short video and worksheet to help you through the process. Let us know what you think!
Choosing a Pastor/Officiant for your Wedding
As you plan your time for completing all the tasks on your list of wedding preparations, don’t forget the officiant who will lead you through the actual wedding ceremony. As soon as you know the date of your wedding it is wise to line up an officiant. Professionals who are good at this job will have their time filled up quickly, so don’t delay in starting your search. Here are some things to consider as you think through what you want in your ceremony.
Flexibility
We believe that one of the most important characteristics you need in an officiant for your wedding ceremony is flexibility.
- Flexibility with Time – A good officiant will need to meet with you at least once to talk through and plan your ceremony. How flexible is the officiant in terms of availability to meet with you? If your officiant flexible if you need him there for a wedding rehearsal?
- Flexible in Style – What sort of wedding ceremony do you want? Are you thinking a very traditional ceremony or something more contemporary? Do you want to write your own vows, or would you like someone who can show you a number of options for your to choose from? Do you want a traditional ring ceremony or would you like to have several choices to look over? This is YOUR wedding, so it should be the wedding ceremony that YOU want. Does your officiant understand that and is he/she willing to help you have the wedding ceremony that uniquely fits you as a couple?
Experienced
You want an officiant who is experienced in conducting wedding ceremonies and working with people of all types.
- Experienced with Weddings – The more experience an officiant has had, the more he will bring to the table in helping you to play your unique wedding. There are a lot of “moving parts” to a wedding ceremony such as the venue, music, members of the wedding party, family situation, time available for the ceremony, etc. An experienced officiant will not be thrown off and stuck finding a solution in a unique or unexpected situation.
- Experienced with People – An experienced officiant will get a quick read on all of the people involved in a wedding. Wedding ceremonies can set up highly emotional situations in some instances. Various family members can have strong opinions of different aspects of a wedding ceremony. An experienced officiant and will be able to bring calm direction to keep things on track and help the bride and groom receive the wedding ceremony that they want.
Personable
You want an officiant who relates well with people
- Personable with the Bride and Groom – You want a officiant that you like and feel comfortable with. This person is going to lead you in making sacred vows to one another and will be introducing you as a newly married couple. Choose someone with a warm and caring personality.
- Personable with the VIP Guests – You are likely to have a number of family members and friends involved in the wedding ceremony who are very important to you. You want an officiant that you feel comfortable introducing to those people and who can carry on a conversation with them and make them feel at ease.
Knowledgeable
You need an officiant with a wide breadth of knowledge on weddings and wedding ceremonies.
- Knowledgeable on Wedding Ceremonies – People have been getting married for thousands of years. Various cultures have developed wedding traditions that add rich meaning and depth to wedding ceremonies. New ideas also emerge that not only add personal meaning to a wedding ceremony but also help to make it unique for each couple. An officiant who is knowledgeable about standard traditions as well as current trends will help you to have a wedding ceremony that has your personal stamp on it.
Humor
You need an officiant who has a good and an appropriate sense of humor.
- Humor in your Wedding Ceremony – While a wedding ceremony is an important, sacred and intensely meaningful event there is often a place for humor as well. In the midst of the seriousness of the occasion and the nervousness that is often felt, the right touch of humor at the right time can put everyone at ease and help to add to the memories of the day.
Can Go With The Flow
You need an officiant who can go with the flow.
- Going with the Flow in Rehearsal – If you have a rehearsal for your wedding be prepared for things to start later than you have planned. Rehearsals are notoriously chaotic events at first. People get lost, or are stuck in traffic or had to work later then they thought. An officiant who knows this will work with you, will help bring calm to the situation and will be able to bring order and direction when things are ready to begin.
- Going with the Flow in the Wedding Ceremony – Despite the hours of careful planning and even with a perfect rehearsal, things can still go differently than planned. If you are prepared for a minor glitch, a participant who is slightly off cue or some other unforeseen change one of two things will happen. A sharp officiant will be aware instantly if something is not going as originally planned and can weave it right into the wedding ceremony so that no one even notices. A sharp officiant will also be able to handle an obvious out of place event in a wedding ceremony, bring some humor to the situation, put everyone at ease and it will end up being a funny memory that added to the day.
Updates and Articles
It’s been a while since I’ve posted. Debbie and I have been very busy lately. Between counseling, meeting with couples, and our office flooding there has been a lot going on. During the recent cold snap some pipes in the sprinkler system at our office froze and burst flooding one of our locations with several inches of water. It’s been a challenge trying to get everything back to normal, but we’re getting through it! Wanted to take a quick moment and share some of our recent articles below. As always I hope you are doing well!
Working with your Spouse(link is external)
Stop Being That Boring Couple and Have Fun Again(link is external)
Save Your Marriage After an Affair(link is external)
Don’t forget to visit our website here